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The actual king
Thanks.
(All the best for clat)
As any dim-witted 16 year old I chose my stream based on a very puerile reasoning; Too smart for Humanities, Too dumb for Science (and I was dumb for both of them) and ended up choosing commerce + Legal studies as an optional subject.
Majority of 11th was fine until finals when I started the preparation and only then was I able to fathom how much work this exam would really take because up until that day I just said that "I'll give CLAT for UG" in a very lax way.
Fortunately, studying in an amazing school in a Tier - 1 city I didn't have too much of a problem with the prep and I started doing (what I thought was) pretty decent. But as I'm typing this post on here today less than 2 weeks from what might possibly be the biggest day of my life which will pretty much decide (or more suitably what could decide) how I'll live for the next 40-50 years, I feel lost. I feel numb, shallow almost as lifeless as one feels when staring at the ceiling when they cannot sleep. I gave a mock today where my score dipped from High 90's to a measly 73.75. Although the institute did claim and I quote 'The mock today was 2 times the difficulty of the actual exam and we just wanted to prepare you for the worst' it isn't providing me any relief at all. I do understand how this was supposed to be in our favor to equip us to deal with the worst of the worst, but it has shattered all my confidence completely.
Now I just want this exam to get over. This may seem like a 'I'm 14 and this is deep' sort of post but from the perspective of a 17 year old who hasn't really experienced as much as a lot of people here on LI have (and it is a shit ton more) this is very dispiriting. It challenges you so much more and demands so much sacrifice. I know it seems stupid for me to say something as cosmetic and superficial as "dEmAnDs sO mUcH sAcrIfiCe" but again, I still had somewhat of a life in 11th as a 'woh-toh-apne-future-ko-leke-bilkul-serious-nahi-hai' kid. Now I haven't gone to school for over 1.5 months, missed out on 2 major events our schools conducts, Missed out on MUN's, my school-team tournaments and just the general experience of being in your senior year of High School. As a kid I always dreamed of being a 12th grader in my school, sitting at the back of the bus, chill around in class, finally have no one elder to you who could fuck around with you just caused they felt like it, and this exam stripped me of my first dream as a child in order for me to have a chance to live the life my present self dreams of now. I've lost connect with most of my friends, they all still like having me around but when I did go to school yesterday it felt as is I'd been living under a rock for a year. Everything had changed, they had new inside jokes, new topics to talk about on, new tournaments to go and I couldn't be a part of anything. And the worst part is that it all seemed worth it until today.
Although I admitted I didn't take this exam as seriously as I should've, in the past 11 months I've basically proven myself and everyone around me wrong by actually doing the hardwork I thought wasn't capable of, but maybe it just isn't enough. I know that CLAT was probably always like this and it will only get worst it is just me who's being soft and entitled but I'd appreciate any advice from people here because I don't think I've ever felt so out of aspiration till now.
P.S. I'm very sorry if this was too much to read.
We're talking about almost 40 people, and for a college that barely managed to place 4 or 6 people just 5 years earlier, and if this isn't tremendous progress, I don't know what is. Check our IP Cell linkedin or instagram page for the details in case anyone this this is a lie.
2. And most importantly, do they let me take my own cases? I understand senior people at chamber do. In that case, how much time spent on senior counsel case and my case?
3. Also, how is staffing on matter done? All matters of seniour counsel or some (considering many seniors have 8-15 juniors so i assume i will get 1 case/day to prepare/draft/appear in conference/prepare noted for)? (Essentially, am i required to be in court all day and all conferences or i can skip some conferences/hearings and give limited output of preparing draft/brief on only matter given to me)
Reason for above query: i have some cases of my own.
Stop wasting time doing an LLM when you could have one-two year more experience !
-do you think you can go through the cumbersome process of pursuing a degree again, considering you've gone through 6 years of post high school education? Law school can get pretty hectic at times
-do you think you can make terms with such a big paycut? you've graduated from a decent b-school, doing a decent job which would pay at par with t-1s if not more. 3 years of college with probably 0 income in late 20s, followed by uncertainty of a job and its pay, followed by your ultimate goal of making it in litigation, which even for those who start early requires on an average 8-10 years of perseverance with low pay.
-do you not find anything other than constitutional law interesting? Consti law's relevance in litigation is only for those few select lawyers who are either state attorneys or activist lawyers, the latter receiving no pay. Since you are already well-acquainted with the corp world, I do understand you might find corp law uninteresting. Read up other areas of law, maybe like criminal and IP laws and see if that's what you want to do. Consti law isn't something to pursue in litigation, you can only do that for academics. And again, if you choose to do anything other than corp law related work, whether in law firms or litigation, the pay would be meagre for a long run.
Right now, it's clear to me that I want to focus on the judiciary. However, I’m constantly plagued by a fear of "what if..."—and this "what if" leads to endless possibilities. I’ve been checking the list of selected candidates whose results were just announced, comparing them with past years. I noticed many repeated names—some selected, some not—and this is making me feel very demotivated. I genuinely want to pursue a judicial career, but this endless "what if" feeling is weighing on me. I feel so confused.
I chose the judiciary because I want to do something meaningful for society, for myself, and for my family. Sometimes, I listen to interviews of toppers and learn about their failures, and I start to overthink. On the other hand, seeing someone crack the exam just three months after graduating gives me instant motivation.
I can't help but wonder if I'm slipping back into the same mental state I was in during CLAT preparation—a phase that left me deeply depressed.
My current strategy is to prepare diligently over the next two years, and after that, focus on revision to crack the exam. But is it really that doable? Is it that easy? I’m just feeling unsure...
Please help me out.