Last night I chanced upon an article published in the Times of India (link: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Opinion-Indian-men-who-rape-and-how-they-rape/articleshow/46583849.cms).
This article was emailed to me by my younger sister who is presently interning with a reputed news channel of India. Being part of the organization, albeit temporarily, she gets to scroll through various kinds of news items which are to be rolled out during the day. We were having a discussion on rape and sexual offences etc. when she referred to the aforesaid article published in Times of India.
After reading the article, I feel numb, cold, scared and pained. Reason being the author of this article has unearthed a facet of our society which goes unobserved. I’m sure every girl, and I dare to include myself when I say this, has been raped in one of the many manners discussed by the writer in his article. The sad part is we did not even know we were being raped. And why? Because we have been conditioned over the years that it is a woman who lures a man, seduces him into raping her by drinking with him, roaming around with him, by wearing certain type of clothes et al.
The well educated but deeply conditioned women so strongly believe in these outdated and biased opinions passed on since generations that they end up feeling guilty, blaming themselves for the devastating incident and keeping mum.
Whether it is a traditional family set up or the outside society, the workplace, hostel, parks, hotels, it does not matter, there is someone out there, eyeing a women, outraging her modesty by his mere glimpse planning to make his fantasy real. If not patently definitely latently. But who cares?
Again the question is why?
Because men have also been conditioned over the centuries with a different set of beliefs and ideas. The belief that it is ok to eye a woman, AADMI KI TO NAZAR HI AISI HOTI HAI! AURATEN HI BADKATI HAIN TO BECHARA KYA KARE! (A Man is born with a roving eye, it is but a woman who instigates him, poor guy what can he do?) The problem is that there is undue emphasis on literacy but no emphasis or low emphasis on moral education. Men are taught to respect power but not women. They might be taught to be kind to animals but not women. Women are not human! They are not even living beings! They are chattel, goods for gratification of senses. Touch them, use them, cause pain to them, hurt them, violate them in every possible manner. In the end the society will blame them. The biggest paradox is that they themselves will blame themselves.
Men roam around naked, they wear shorts, they venture out of home at night, they drink, they make out, they explore their sexuality, they travel alone, they choose to remain bachelors and enjoy life, they admire beauty and they can do anything They are GOD! Isay it’s time we the women of the world spoke loud and clear …It’s pure BULLSHIT!
I apologize for using a cuss word. Oh! I’m so sorry.. I forgot I’m a woman too, educated and dignified!! I am not supposed to use a cuss word! Men use cuss words and its okay!
I wish before changing the laws, we could spare sometime to teach young men and women to learn to respect their bodies and others, to respect their souls and others. I wish someone would read this blog and bring about a change. No matter how small. I wish there would be a Ramayana with a Lord Rama, who defies the society and loves Sita, unconditionally rather then being guided by the remarks of a Dhobi (washerman) questioning her “purity”. How I wish a Jesus would appear on earth and save the Mary Madgelene’s of the world!!
The meaning and definition of right and wrong should not change gender wise, because there is only one GOD and one universal truth…Good begets good and bad begets bad.
Comments
How on earth is it a girl's fault if she gets raped?! Of course, according to you if she goes drinking and clubbing with guys, she's begging to get raped. It is in this aspect that I want you and people sharing your sick mentality to get educated. They are human beings too and have no less right to have a good time as they see fit and with whom they see fit(within the boundations of law of course!). You say that this is just how things are in our society..well, guess what, you are the society! If we change our backward mindset and punish the rapists instead of the victims, we might have a shot at fighting this thing. But right now, it is backward people like you who dominate the society. Maybe it will take 3-4 more generations to tackle a wide variety of problems like- rapes, casteism, getting a uniform civil code etc, when a majority of people all over the country can be expected to have a modern outlook of things and the likes of you are reduced to an ignored part of the society. And yes, I am a man writing this comment.
I have no doubts that you are a man!
Thanks for sharing your views.
Anonymous.... Who is orthodox by defined by whom and what is modernity, who will define? You Ok I accept.. you are modern, what did you get. Well dear friend. In some words a little bit, I tell you what is modernity, Spread Love Love Love with piousness not lust, Wear whether man or woman which does not suit you, which give a message how cultured you are, i am also not saying what the western people wear, wearing is an offence nothing, but it is there culture and wearing a modern dress is just a modernity then i am orthodox, i would say What i Consider A Man is form of Lord Shiv so a woman is a form of Goddess Parvati (Prakati). i am not daring enough to insult of these form of god.