[The following newsletter found its way into my Spam folder. I thought it was worth sharing.]

Barelylegalindia.com/Issue 1

Dear Readers,

This has been an eventful week in the industry. Lots to tell. So let’s dive straight into it.

News

Waves were made at the high-level meeting of the Secret Society Against the Liberalisation of the Indian Legal Market (SSALIM) where several members of the top brass were present. Mr. Batliwaala of Anjaan, Zulmi, Batliwaala & Friends opened the meeting with the radical proposal that foreign law firms be prevented from opening offices in the Indian market. Mr. Saunf of Ramachand, Saunf & Family seconded this proposal and the resolution was passed unanimously by the meeting. The meeting then ended with all members being given copies of Batliwaala Jr.’s summer schoolwork to be distributed to their under-worked underlings.

The Indian Bar Exam has sent final year law students into a tizzy. According to latest reports, it appears that the Bar Council desires to test whether law students are fit to be admitted to the Bar. The movement against this blasphemous testing of legal knowledge (if any) acquired during those five years has now gathered momentum. It culminates in a candle-light vigil to be held at 6 a.m. next Sunday morning at India Gate to honour the intrinsic merit that the Indian law students possess. Please attend and support this noble cause. (It is recommended that you bring your own candles, matches will be supplied free of cost.)

Sources have told barelylegalindia.com that owing to longstanding over-use and abuse, the coffee machine at Shakeel ’n’ Raajan Associates has been replaced.

Legal pulls

With the opening of the 23rd National Law School in Bitawallpur, the Bar Council has lived up to its motto- “We deliver quality legal education in 30 minutes anywhere, anytime.”

The Centre has passed a legislation capping fees for all litigating lawyers at Rs. 5 crore per case. This has been done to safeguard the nobility of the profession.

Snooting Premier League

The Snooting Premier League has been rocked by allegations of betting scandal. With competition hotting up for the bottom spot, it has been alleged by an anonymous person on an anonymous website that all the major competitions are being fixed. It appears a sting operation caught on film persons with vested interests offering promising snooters the greatest prize possible-internships- to lose. Barelylegalindia.com is investigating the fiasco further and is currently verifying the reliability of the video.

Blogging con-petition

Lots of great blogging action this week:

- Nibrana007, one of our best legal writers, in a surprise move, has written a short blog entry on brevity being the soul of wit.

- Pegal Loet claims he is tired of poetry and has switched to prose. In his latest post, he analyses the connection between unicorns, law students and animal right activists.

- John2011 cheerfully explores rainbows, butterflies and sun-kissed meadows.

- Jharkhandi Bhaluu in the Basic Structure of the Great Indian Farmland explains to the uneducated the difference between his buffaloes and cows.

- Penultimate Year Law Student argues that anything beyond the fourth year of law school should be scrapped, making a few interesting points in the process.

-Thandii Chawal in yet another annoying post whines about his comfortable corporate life and claims its all about the money, honey.

Please note that all bloggers are required to deposit $200 each to be considered for the blogging con-petition. We accept Visa, Mastercard and Paypal. All receipts will be distributed to tortured blog readers with the funniest and/or nastiest comments.

Comment of the week

[censored].

Best,

Editor

Barelylegalindia.com