This has been doing the rounds in the legal fraternity by email, in response to the ubiquitous viral movie-promo music video Why This Kolaveri Di. It was inevitable, really.

If you haven’t yet, watch the original video below, which is sung in a mix of Madras Tamil and quasi-English with the title loosely meaning “why this murderous rage, girl?”. Better still, listen to the song in the background while you read the below. Here goes… (If you haven’t seen or heard it, the below won’t make much sense - little that it does now.)

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Kolaveri Di: legal version (author unknown)

Hello lawyer boys.. I am singing song.. soup song.. flop song

Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da

Distance uula courtu courtu, courtu backgroundu white uu!

courtu full-a gownuu gownuu, gownu coloru blackuu!

White-u skinu clientu clientu, Clientu heartu Blacku!

Deadlineu deadline meet u meet u, My appraisal darku!

Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri da!

Hand-la mouse-u, Mouse la report u, reportu fulla error uu!

Empty lifeu, deal u come u, Life reversu gearu !

client u client u, Oh my client u, U showed me BOW u!

Beer u beer u.. Holy beer u, I want you here now u!

God I am dying now u.. Partner happy how u ?

This u song is for lawyer boys u

We don’t have choice u !!

If someone knows the author of this, please do pass on and we’ll give due credit.

If some lawyer wants to record a video for it we’d be happy to try and help.