This is a long poem and has no rhyming scheme but if you read it in a rhythm and read it for fun, things will rhyme.

Note- What the associate of the firm says is in ‘CAPS’.

Note (further) - Something on Trademarks. Trademarks are divided into various classes. For example ‘class 1’ might deal with ‘furniture’; ‘class 2’ with ‘toys’; ‘class 3’ with ‘hotels’ etc.

AND SO THEY WROTE… It was the intern’s first day at work.

Clean shaved; he arrived at eight

And waited with a bated breath

To see what life ‘as an intern’ held.

Meanwhile he checked his formal shirt,

Formal pants and formal shoes.

‘Formal’ was an informed choice,

‘Be prepared…’ (A lawyer’s ploy).

Back when 1000 mails he did send

Querying about ‘work’, ‘stipend’, ‘dress’ and ‘time’,

Alas! No replies had come to 999,

One said ‘research’, ‘no’, ‘9-6’ and ‘formal is fine’.

[It was a new place for the intern,

In a new city he was encapsulated in.

He looked around- big buildings, dusty squalls,

And then he realised; his capsule was small].

He bade goodbye to such philosophical thoughts

And moved inside the office; “So Posh”!

And said “Good morning ma’am! I am Rohan”,

“Oh! The intern”, she replied (We are expecting your lot).

“Please come. This work station is yours”

“Be seated Rohan, till work comes”, she called.

He remained seated, and no work came

During lunch…behold! Somebody did take his name!

(Or something which sounded similar…same?)

He jumped, excited, he jumped, did not walk.

He jumped to that man, he jumped to his voice,

The voice he heard, had just called his name,

Ah! The intern (Under sun, this, his place).

“HI! I AM RANJIT, ASSOCIATE, IP DIVISION”

“WELCOME” (welcome, a little late for cohesion)

“YOU WILL WORK UNDER ME” (under my weight you’ll die)

“MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE” (here! Have some chai)

Two biscuits and three pleasantries later

He was given a bundle of documents and a letter

Containing 1,2…150 trademarks to be filed

“THE WORK IS RESEARCH” (hope you won’t mind).

The intern was happy…his purpose of life

He attacked the work like: Dogs and bones, Jaggery and flies

He learnt the work through the pre loaded files

Training for puppies (coz puppies can’t fly).

Every class had a different mark…

Trademark…he noted it religiously in a copy.

“Every religion is just the same

A bundle of thoughts, a different name…”

Ah! The musings! Were troubling him again.

He concentrated on his work! The trademark work,

Working fast, concentrated and with flair (feigned)

His clean shaven (ignore dirty pimples) face

Had now bristles of black hair…”SO FINE

YOU CAN LEAVE, IT IS ALREADY NINE”.

“All right sir. Thank you. I have filled fif…”

“RIGHT…RIGHT MOHAN! I’LL SEE THAT TOM” (miffed)

“It is Rohan Sir…” (smiling)

“OH! SORRY”! (smiling, snarling).

The next day he came at nine,

A new shirt and new shoes that shone.

Clean shaven again (from the Gillette’s store),

He started on Trademarks (razor blades, class five).

‘Toys’, ‘underwear’, ‘furniture’ and ‘perfumes’

And such daily items of daily use

Formed a part of his ‘research’

A research which did contusions produce.

(Life paralysing, brain tumour causing contusions).

‘Food’, ‘milk’, ‘clothes’ and ‘toys’,

More research… (A lawyer’s ploy)

To make the intern get rid off

All that he cares, all that he enjoys.

The internship was completed, the research was done.

“NICE JOB MOHAN. HOPE YOU HAD FUN”

(The associate remarked).

“It is Rohan, Sir”. “OH! SORRY” (the second time)

(Two times, they had talked).

But he had learnt, and so he hoped

And researched ‘on various areas of law’

And so they wrote; on his certificate which said

“MOHAN SUCCESSFULLY INTERNED…”(And returned dead).

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to anyone living, dead or in between is delusionary.

PS- To people with money: If I made you smile with this poem, you might consider giving some cash; so that we writers survive and make you smile more. Contact blogging[at]legallyindia.com

Comments

legally blonde 8 May 2010, 07:47
+4 -0
Hey...it was a really nice poem...seems to come from someone who has been Rohan or Mohan :p
LegalPoet 8 May 2010, 07:49
+4 -0
Thank you....yeah...you are right!
Anonymous guest 8 May 2010, 08:59
+3 -0
it is just brilliant to see that everytime u come up with something new and something refreshing....and let me tell u dear dear dear dear poet, u r only getting better.....thank you so much!! please do keep it up!! :-D

PS1: see nowadays u dont even need to tell me to check out stuff! (u know what i mean!)
PS2: hope u r well....and all the very best for the remaining! (you know what i mean!)
LegalPoet 8 May 2010, 09:34
+4 -0
Yup! Thanks for the comment and the nice words. 'Check out stuff'...does sound a bit dicey :P...and yes life is treating me well...thank you.
Legally Sagacious 8 May 2010, 09:58
+3 -0
Mohan! Or wait is it Rohan!! Whatever...
All I can do is just nod my head in awe. Another well manufactured piece from your factory. I must say this is the best product I have read till date. Admire your fearlessness in an open forum like this one!
Wishing you all the best as you are about to start another cycle like this one a few days from now...
LegalPoet 8 May 2010, 10:01
+4 -0
The fearlessness nearly backfired mate! That is why penned this one to lighten the mood a bit. Yes, another cycle...but am sure it is going to be a brilliant one. Thank you for your nice words about the post.

BTW...up so late (early riser! I can't believe)
Anonymous guest 8 May 2010, 16:26
+3 -0
Every intern's nightmare come true!
Awesome post again Poet. Clearly, the keyboard is mightier than the sword.
LegalPoet 8 May 2010, 16:31
+4 -0
This isn't a nightmare dude...this happens in broad daylight...a daily affair. :/
And I haven't yet weilded the sword, to know its power!
Anonymous guest 8 May 2010, 16:39
+3 -0
this is the best till now...would like to read more on similar lines...i think this post has been the outcome of ur internship at the ****IP Law firm during the puja vacations in Delhi last year, right?
LegalPoet 8 May 2010, 17:06
+4 -0
No Shambo! That was a very nice experience. This is a combination of little hells every internship offers...an amalgamation.
Anonymous guest 8 May 2010, 18:13
+4 -0
hey that's a really nice....legal poet u rock ....u r just becoming more and more awesome each passing day.....brings out the behind the scenes story of those glitzy internships which law students think of going to....Great.. :)
Anonymous guest 8 May 2010, 18:16
+4 -0
the predictions might come true. someone might just win 60k out of this competition. superb wrting poet
Anonymous guest 8 May 2010, 19:47
+4 -0
You have the ability to associate with your readers in their everyday activities through your poetry! Don't ever lose that!
Encore, Legal Poet!
LegalPoet 8 May 2010, 20:37
+5 -0
@11, 12 and 13- Glad that you liked the poem. Will try my best to do an encore.
Anonymous guest 8 May 2010, 21:30
+4 -0
Great work dude. And you have hit the nail on your head. The disclaimer on not rhyming wasn't needed at all. This is very good.

Btw, the rhyming effort is seen at ...
Querying about ‘work’, ‘stipend’, ‘dress’ and ‘time’,
...
One said ‘research’, ‘no’, ‘9-6’ and ‘formal is fine’.
(as opposed to - One said ‘research’, ‘no’, ‘formal is fine’ and ‘9-6’.) :D
soumya29 8 May 2010, 22:14
+4 -0
ohh...really hillarious poem!! its nice for a lawyer to be a poet too...do post other poems of urs as well...
LegalPoet 8 May 2010, 22:15
+5 -0
What? I have hit the nail on my head? MY HEAD? (ouch!)

Yah...but I guess the meaning is clear.
LegalPoet 8 May 2010, 22:24
+5 -0
Hi Soumya...well, I am a law student (long years to take care of, still, and well dropping out sounds real cool on the bio...so might well do that...:)

And ermmm...other poems don't relate to law...I sometimes tinker with my poems to relate it to some legal thing (the previous poem on the sexiest law school is an example)...if I start putting everything and anything here...the editor might have to get going with his job.
Anonymous guest 9 May 2010, 05:49
+6 -0
nice work there... hope ur future attempts at internship result in a few more laughs and life lessons for all of us!!
LegalPoet 9 May 2010, 05:59
+4 -0
Thanks legal leo...but life lessons???
Anonymous guest 9 May 2010, 06:02
+4 -0
life lesson that as interns we are the bottom of the food chain and we should learn to accept that!
Anonymous guest 9 May 2010, 06:25
+4 -0
Mr Poet.... you certainly ARE really talented. ;)

Keep up the good work! Cheerios!
LegalPoet 9 May 2010, 17:02
+4 -0
Ah! I see legal leo...that is good lesson. And Dhruv, that sort of comments come when you don't read the piece :X
Anonymous guest 9 May 2010, 19:28
+2 -0
your wit and sense of humour is amazing! the creator of rumpole once said how great imagination is required for legal humour writing, you have a god's gift for that too, keep it up
Anonymous guest 10 May 2010, 01:04
+2 -0
Absolutely true.. an accurate picture of an internship portrayed.. kudos!
Anonymous guest 10 May 2010, 01:24
+3 -0
Khool Poem Legal Poet!!! You out do yourself every Time!
LegalPoet 10 May 2010, 02:50
+3 -0
@24...thanks for your comment...I wikied Rumpole and I guess will read the author's work this summer...thanks for informing me.

Thank you 25, I think the picture was a bit exaggerated :)

26, thank you
Anonymous guest 10 May 2010, 05:53
+2 -0
It's actually true. This is exactly the attitude that people have in law firms and lawyer's offices. Trial court is so much more fun for this very reason. They're not paying the interns, but sometimes, they don't even bother to check whether the intern's had food or not, they don't help out the intern to arrange his stay if he's not from the city... I think these should be basic courtesies that firms and lawyers should show their interns. They talk about the business working on seniority and it being important that they be addressed as 'Sir' and 'Madam' and they demand respect and awe, but how do you get that if you treat your subordinates as if they were sub-human?
LegalPoet 10 May 2010, 07:46
+3 -0
@28. What you say is true but some firms and some people are good. This poem is a little autobiographical and a lot exaggerated. Autobio in a way that this combines the bad of all my internships...and then I also exaggerate the bad. None of my internships have been all good or all bad. :)
Anonymous guest 10 May 2010, 17:44
+2 -0
This is perfect! a true picture in such a fun manner!
Anonymous guest 10 May 2010, 17:52
+1 -0
Allowing law students to intern, involves the lawfirms time for which the intern does not pay the lawfirm whether monetorily or otherwise. The lawfirm finds work to not just keep the intern busy, but also hoping to pass on some skill sets so that the intern is able to decide from the various choices of work given to him/her as to which subjects he/she has the aptitude (not attitude!!) So Rohan-Mohan and likes of them, should be thankful that Ranjit and his likes did infact take the time out of their otherwise busy schedule to not just hand some real work to be done but also prepared the 'certificate' that the intern wishes to possess at the end of his/her term at the lawfirms.
LegalPoet 10 May 2010, 18:27
+3 -0
31, ah! So we have some one from the 'law firms' speaking. I agree with you. I sometimes ponder whether the internship model needs to be turned on its head: the intern paying the firm; with the firm providing a 'practical course' on whatever they specialise in.

That is what an internship ideally is, a practical course. And if the firms are ready to spend some time and effort for the practical training, the interns should be ready to cough up some money. What say?

Thanks for reading the poem in detail!

@30...glad that you liked it.
Anonymous guest 10 May 2010, 20:15
+2 -0
@31 - while your argument also has a point, firms are not quite that altruistic either. the fact is that keeping interns allows them first pickings of future employees, acting as investment to the future. not letting law students intern would result in students not knowing what is expected of them when they finally get a job, resulting in a lot more time, energy and money expended while students learn their way around. not that this doesnt already happen, but on a much much smaller scale. and i dont know if this is true of other firms, but a couple of the firms i worked with offloaded craploads of their routine, time-intensive work on us interns for free. we were not paid. so i think of it as advantageous both to interns, who learn the ropes, and law firms, who get to offload work and scope out the market.
LegalPoet 11 May 2010, 01:34
+3 -0
Uhmmm...fabulous point. But isn't this more applicable to an associate?
Anonymous guest 11 May 2010, 03:34
+2 -0
wonder if people associate more with legalpoet than to kian ganz when it comes to legallyindia. fabulous blogging poet. you have a way with words.
Anonymous guest 11 May 2010, 04:06
+1 -0
Dear #33,
Firstly - "Employees" is certainly not a term that a professional Advocate should choose to classify himself /herself as. We chose to be professionals, not employees. If you insist on choosing to be an employee then you should be giving up your sunnad (licence to practice).

Secondly - every professional lawyer makes efforts to 'get the work' which eventually and hopefully brings the money. Interns and Associates very rarely bring in any work - they are only doing the work. Work which your Seniors are themselves capable of doing and in much shorter time than you yourself would do. But yes, it is the routine & may be mundane, that the Interns and Associates are asked to handle. But nevertheless, you cannot be choosing the work when you have not brought it in in the first place.

Thirdly - "Craploads" - a terminology that you have used, shows that you are not at all passionate of the profession itself. It is work, and not 'crap' ! Your fundamentals are misplaced!!
LegalPoet 11 May 2010, 04:16
+2 -0
35, 'Indira is India and India is Indira'...your comparison is just as bad as this. (I am sorry to say).

36, It is you vs. 33 for now. Nice debate.
Anonymous guest 13 May 2010, 00:18
+2 -0
LMFAO!!! LMFAO. I am dying under my laughs weight! hahaha
Anonymous guest 13 May 2010, 01:16
+1 -0
Good observation!! thanks for awareness!! looking for better treatment in my first intern!!
LegalPoet 13 May 2010, 01:39
+1 -0
Robin B...this is not 'awareness'...but a caricature...law firms are better places and have better people. :)
Meerkat 13 May 2010, 01:49
+3 -0
Little late getting here, but loving the work.
LegalPoet 13 May 2010, 02:35
+4 -0
Thanks Meerkat!
Anonymous guest 13 May 2010, 22:51
+4 -0
Brilliant! :)
Anonymous guest 15 May 2010, 03:51
+2 -0
unbelievable talent on display. wow!
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+0 -0
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Anonymous guest 19 May 2010, 16:25
+0 -0
i got payed for the frst internship that i did and my third also,but 4 my thirs i gt stuck in a gaon typa place and had 2 travel by share autos and rickshaws to get to work,as there was no transport available.More than the internship it was a life experience.

yea offce gave me everything but no work!
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+0 -0
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Anonymous guest 21 May 2010, 16:17
+1 -0
There is a Ranjit at every law firm :P
nikhil 24 Jan 2013, 08:48
+0 -0
this is really owsum.............................. :p